[Insert new printer ink. No more jaunty little tune] Ah damn.
[Composing email] Dear Hewlett Packard. I have a printer-scanner-copier. It was bought in the US, but I now live in Europe. I was told, and the box says, that it needs HP338 instead of HP98. However, now, the printer is giving me an error code saying that HP338 cartridge is incompatible with my printer. What should I do? PS. I love my printer-scanner-copier. It's my friend.
[HP response] From your description, it sounds like the printer is giving you an error code saying that HP338 cartridge is incompatible with your printer. In 2004, HP started regionalizing things like ink to better suit the needs of their customers in different geographical regions. Press a bunch of buttons, it'll do a test, and then send the answers to the questions above.
[Talking to myself] You didn't ask any questions. Regionalizing ink? Are you kidding me?
[Pushing buttons, paper prints out] HOORAY!
[Printer makes unhappy noises and flashes not only on the printer but on the computer] HP338 cartridges are not compatible with this printer.
[Scan document. Start attaching it to email. Meanwhile, try to scan other documents for health insurance reimbursement. Printer hums.] An error is causing the program to shut down. Please make sure all cables are properly connected and all programs properly installed. Oh, and by the way, another error occurred while trying to attach the document. Try again?
[Doing one thing at a time, attach document, compose email to HP] Thank you for your quick response. Attached, please find the test. And while I have you, would all of this cause some kind of problem with the scanning function on my printer? Obviously I scanned the test, but now it won't scan anything else. PS, I love my printer. It's my friend. I don't want to replace my friend with a European model, and I think you're hinting that I may have to do that, and by the way,regionalizing ink? That is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard, and it's obviously that manufacturing printers that used either European or American voltage was more cost effective for you and this is just a way to eke just a little more money out of the relatively few people who move printers from continent to continent. You should be ashamed of your money grubbing ways. SHAME! PPS. I love my printer. It's my friend.
[To a jaunty big, long phrased tune] Replacing the new cartridge with the old cartridge to scan the receipts for the insurance company. Do dah, do dah.
[Printer]An error is causing the program to shut down. Please make sure all cables are properly connected and all programs properly installed.
[HP response] Yo, dumb ass, if you use European black ink, you have to use European color ink. DUH!
[Talking to myself] Oh, for fuck's sake!
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